by cheri
One of my old friends invited me to lunch sometime in the next several weeks.
I say “old” because we have known each other for 35 years and because she just turned 70.
According to AARP, we are part of the “young-old, ” that is, those of us from ages 65-75. The “old-old” are 85-95.
After 95, AARP doesn’t seem to have a designation but I would say Decrepit.
Please don’t be mad at me because I, like many of my friends, are in the young-old category and working my way down to decrepitude.
Our email thread was something to behold, sort of like a first kiss that went awry. You know: he kept his lips closed and you went in open mouthed. Or he tried to French-kiss you and you turned away, so his tongue hit your cheek. That type of “something to behold.”
I will confess that for my part, I was not on my computer but rather on my iPad, hunting and pecking a note. I was also at the beach with a glass of wine. There! That’s my excuse.
I suspect that my friend (whom I will call Ipanema to preserve her anonymity) was also on her tablet or phone in her responses to mine. She doesn’t drink, so who knows?
Here’s how it went:
Ipanema: Know your birthday is either coming up or just past Wanted to wish you the best and thank you again for coming to my 70th If you are in town would love to take you out to lunch this coming week Aside from a dentist Appt on Monday I am free
Cheri: Thanks so much.
My birthday was October 9.
Just in time for it, I fell off my bed doing a stretch and fractured my toe along with dislocating it. It was sticking out like your husband’s little finger.
Had it reset twice without anesthetic.
Anyway, in a boot.
Ipanema: (Several weeks later): Any ideas on date and time for lunch?
Cheri: Are you available on Thursday, November 3?
Ipanema: November 3rd will work. The next day, Friday, I’ll be headed to my son’s for a weekend of babysitting. They are traveling to Austin. Actually they’re only coming back on Tuesday so Ill probably be trying to catch up on sleep, the rest of that week. Let me know what time and where on the3rd!!
Cheri: Friday or Thursday? 2nd or 3rd?
Ipanema: Sorry you said Thursday Nov3 and I didn’t check I knew I had to be at my son’s on Friday so I assumed that would be the 4th Yeah Thursday the 2nd will work
Cheri:You are right. I am available both days. Let me know which one is best for youand it will be a date!
Ipanema: Ok Thursday the 2nd at 12:30 Elephant Bar? or any other restaurant you chose!!
Cheri: Ok . Elephant Bar has closed.How about the crepe place in the Raley’s shopping center? Petite Crepe or something like that…Thursday November 2 at 12:30. I will email you to confirm.
Ipanema: Oh Cheri promise you won’t write a blog about this email thread ,but it is hysterical Had no idea Elephant Bar had closed and I am in that neighborhood quite often because of my mom! Okay, crepe place it is Thurs. Nov2 12:30pm
Shall we synchronize our watches? Oh I forgot No one wears watches any more.
Ha, you two are not alone in this wilderness. In fact you sound just like my dear friend of mumble,,, years and I. A toast to both of you for the effort.
LOL. We need more than a toast!
The Encyclopaedia of Aging and Public Health (the thought of such a publication is enough to kill off the unwary) says:
65-75 young old
75-85 older old
85-95 oldest old
The limbo years of 75 and 85 look a riot.
Quite apart from an excruciating treatment of comparative and superlative this arbitrary death sentence neglects humanity at large:
0-2 baby old
2-4 toddler old
4-10 child old
10-20 growing-up old
20-30 learner old
30-40 responsible old
40-50 mature old
50-65 apprehensive old
65-75 reassured old
75-85 smug old
85-95 carefree old
95-100 laughing old
Time is an illusion, an invention of Man to describe motion. Everything is now.
But then All the world’s a stage. Shakespeare never once uses the word old
I must remind myself.
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
The whole thing is an adventure and a special privilege, all to be relished.
3 Nov 2017 is a Friday. Last year’s calendar is unreliable unless you plan for 2022, in which case your date is several years ahead, not weeks.
That’s the spirit!
What a magnificent stanza you have so carefully typed into the comments. What a brilliant set of words describing the aches and pains of the NOW process. It is true, Sir Richard, that all we have is now. I will (once again) meditate on your reminder and wisdom.
I am in need of womanly advice.
My dear wife is 70 on 6 December (a Wednesday). She says she requires no special mark or reminder of the event.
Do I take her seriously?
Talking of aches and pains, how is your toe?
My toe. Making progress each day. See the doc for an x-ray next Wednesday. My current dilemma is what to wear tonight to a judicial retirement dinner where Hizzoner is a speaker. My dress shoes do not work.
I’m glad there’s improvement.
When TJD rises to speak you’ll be able to stamp your foot for silence.
Not quite yet. Believe me ( as you can imagine), when he speaks we (all) must listen (although I take the 5th on whether I agree with him…) This fellow who is retiring Hizzoner has known since childhood. He was R’s first law partner. Very sweet and understated man. Japanese. His Uncle Tak (deceased) was one of my dad’s best friends.
I’ve got the message. Thank you.
This comment has a shelf life of 10 minutes and then will be stricken from the record.
Please tell me your friend is tall, tan, young and lovely.
Well. My friend has always been shapely though she is not tall or tan. But she is lovely. Men have always found her highly attractive. I’m tempted, when meeting her for lunch, to print out this email thread and conveniently drop it in case any male begins to flirt with HER.
I had no idea there were bureaucrats lurking about, conjugating age. In case no one’s told them, age is a danged irregular verb.
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around Richard’s mention of the fact that Shakespeare never used the word old. Enjoy your lunch!
I have fallen foul of ambiguity yet again. Thank you for the reprimand.
My attention was confined to this particular quote.
A search here:
http://www.shakespeareswords.com/Search.aspx
reveals 715 instances. Old Ninny … Is apt in the circumstances.
No reprimand from me, Richard. Eventually, I might have grown curious enough to do a little research, and that would have cleared up my misreading — but you’ve saved me the trouble. Thanks!
It is quite chilling to think youu are checking up on me. 🙂
Shoreacres has a keen and curious mind, just like yours, Richard. As for myself, my curiosity reserves itself for only topics which interest me. Good luck, you two!
It’s all I can do trying to keep up with you, Cheri, even with your gammy foot.
You overstate my mental attributes.
“…….If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present….” – Lao Tzu
As I age, and become consequently more and more anxious, the more I’m making myself think of what Lao Tzu said. Often it works……..
Thank you for reminding me of Lao Tzu’s wise quotation. I sometimes feel exactly as you do. If it works often, then I will repeat it often.
Here you go. Just because. (I’ve never tried to link to Twitter. If it doesn’t work, I’ll find an alternative.)
Talk about reverse leaf-raking!! The exuberance of that German Shepherd (which was the dog breed we had all through my childhood and teen years) gave me a big smile this morning. Also, he reminded me of Dinah whose tail-slice portends a coming craziness.