A Friday tasting—acorn shells

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by cheri

If you own a Labrador retriever, you know that no food is off limits to the breed. I mean no food. And I include food that is intended for other species.And things that are not food at all.

At this very moment, I am watching my 70-pund fat Labrador grazing on the patio for acorn shells. You read this right: not the acorns which might provide some meager nutrition but rather, the shells, which as far as I can tell, stand a 50% chance of clogging a bowel tract.

Perhaps your dog eats anything but I doubt it.

Eight years ago this puppy dragged me into the vet’s office whereby I tripped over the doorstop and took a flying header into a cardboard display for Heartworm medicine. As a seasoned English maven, I know a symbol when I see it, especially at 4 inches. Even at that klutzy moment surrounded by edgy veterinary techs with purple hair and piercings, down on their knees to see if the dog was OK, I knew that this photo of a large stringy worm tangled all over a dog’s heart presaged years of canine culinary disgust.

And as usual, I was right.

I’ve written before about the 10-lb weight gain that this Labrador experiences during wild turkey season when 75-100 turkeys roam our property like prehistoric idiots, leaving green dollops of protein everywhere.

I’ve written about the tandem activity of the cat and the dog in flushing squirrels out of walnut trees, a sort of farm-to-table theme, in which a falling squirrel is eaten alive while the flesh is fresh.

Half-rats, small chickadees, jalapeno peppers, worms, moldy cheese, coyote poop, salmon bones, rat poison,and paper towels all have gone down the hatch. This dog also ate a frozen dead duck—a dim sum or sorts—instead of retrieving it—a natural instinct I was told– at a field trial we attended.

I miss my Rottweilers, who boringly enough, only ate kibble.

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Have a yummy weekend.

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About Cheri

Writer, artist, cable television host, grandmother to four!
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13 Responses to A Friday tasting—acorn shells

  1. Sharon says:

    But, look at that face!!! What’s a few expensive visits to the vet or vet emergency hospital at midnight, racking up enormous bills and time lost? Look at that face😇. Would your Rottweiler give you that kind of joy/annoyance, enough fur to make a small blanket? Huh????

    Love, an experienced Lab owner

    • Cheri says:

      No, you are right: Elsa and Udo never gave me the unconditional love that this girl does. I know you are an experienced Lab owner. Thanks for the love and support.

  2. Chris says:

    I love that face too! Those eyes – so soulful – looking at you with such love and adoration. Appreciative of all the enticing kibbles that your backyard provides. Yea for the Labrador and a wonderfully funny story.

  3. Brig says:

    Labs are labs, and they do what labs do… My grandpa had a number of black labs, all fantastic hunting dogs. Everytime he got another one he named it Jet!

  4. shoreacres says:

    All I could think was: “Oh, my.” On the other hand, I loved the prim, nose-slightly upturned beauty of “green dollops of protein.” Euphemism rock.

    I’m not a dog person, and don’t know a thing about labs, but a friend has a Great Pyrenees who favors flower pots. Black nursery pots and heavier plastic pots are his forté, but there are suspicious chew marks on some clay pots in her yard, and we suspect he’s setting his sights higher.

  5. Cheri says:

    That’s a funny anecdote about the Great Pyrenees…One thing about this lab…she has never chewed on anything in the house or anything outside (like hoses). She has never had an accident in the house and she has never shown any sign of aggression toward people, so all things considered, she is a lovely dog…

  6. wkkortas says:

    I feel you, as the young people say (or at least used to say); my mutt, who is of beagle and shepherd ancestry, although he purports to be a purebred Schiller Hound, is fond of grazing upon cat food (can and all), sunflower seed husks, and the jewel case to my 4-CD Blossom Dearie collection.

  7. Cheri says:

    A Schiller Hound! What an adorable creature with such intelligence in his eyes! Alas, intelligence and culinary desire are not necessarily mutually exclusive. He and my lab would be fast friends, based on your list (especially the cat food and can). The only “positive” of having our cat Bobb eaten by a bobcat last year (sad sad face and how ironic) is that Bobb’s dollops are no longer available to our dog. Good gob! ( I mean god).

  8. Stacie Harris says:

    Msj 1986 30th reunion this weekend and would love to see Mrs. Sabraw. Contact me if interested. Stacie Harris 5038079326. Dave Duncan will be there.

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