The Importwance of Being Uhnest

by cheri sabraw

One of my grandsons, the one who is under the age of seven and above the age of five, is quite a card. The only problem is that when I tell him so, he replies,

” Gwam, what’s a cawd?”

No, he is not from Boston or the East Coast in any way. He is a home-grown Californian.

He came to visit last week for the entire weekend, the same weekend that I was hosting a dinner party for six. As he hung around the kitchen table, while I chopped onion and garlic, he tried to tell me a story of his trip to San Francisco’s Exploratorium.

“So, you see, Gwam, when Mom and I went to the Explowatoeum, I saw a schwaak.”

A what?  I inquired.

Having taught English as a Second Language for four years when in my twenties, I have a keen ability to understand anyone of any nationality or age or gender speaking English.

This time, however, I stumbled.

“I saw a schwaak, ” Grandson repeated.

This frustrating cross-examination went on several more times.

Normally an easy-going little guy with a wry sense of humor, Grandson became agitated.

Finally, older brother looked up from his Kindle and rescued the day.

” Gramma, he saw a shark.”

” That’s what I said, screamed his brother, schwaaak!!!”

Yesterday, I received a phone call from my daughter. She called to tell me that she had signed said Grandson up for speech therapy. She delicately told her little son that every week for 1/2 an hour, he would be working on his speech, specifically his letter R’s. He crumpled into a writhing mess and screamed at the top of his lungs,

” Mom, you have wooned my life! Wooned it.”

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About Cheri

Writer, artist, cable television host, grandmother to four!
This entry was posted in Education, Life, Parenting, People, Writing and Teaching and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to The Importwance of Being Uhnest

  1. Christopher says:

    “……since gender is an important word in all modern discussions, I have included it here……”

    Whatever are you implying?!!

  2. Richard says:

    What a dear little chap! I sympathise with him in his predicament.
    As for Mom – Is she bovvered?

    One of ours used to come to me and say, “I’m wowwied.” He’s grown out of it now he really is stressed.

  3. Brighid says:

    I would so be hugging on that little guy, what a cutie!
    I thought most kids went through that with some words, most of my grands did. They out grew it.

  4. shoreacres says:

    I laughed my way all the way through this, but only because I remember those days of not being able to get certain words “just right.” Wolf became “woof,” and towel became — well, something like “tao-wow.” Now that I think about it, those darned “els” must have been my problem.

    Tell him there are days when I feel my life’s been wooned, too. 😉

    • Cheri says:

      I shall share your advice, Linda. We had a little neighbor boy, Mikey. His problem concerned, among many letters, the letter L, replacing it with Y’s. He yiked yemons and yoved yicorice. Poor little kid. His mother thought it funny; I wonder what happened to yittle Mikey.

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