My Fitbit Fixation


by cheri

My friend Sharon and I went for a walk around our local lake to improve our health but    in truth, to solve problems. Loping around a lake, passing strollers with strollers, and dodging duck doo-doo, we moved like two fillies set loose in a meadow with tall grass.

I must add that Sharon is about 5’9” and a stately blond. Her stride is two of mine. I had to double-step to keep up. I might add again that I am a petite fake brunette but still look pretty good ( or so the retired men in their 80’s tell me…)

At the end of the what I thought was our 2.5 mile loop of the lake, our conversation was not finished.

” and so, Sharon, the best way to deal with a husband is to detach…at times…of course…let go of our sexpectations expectations. Let him be who he is and we will be who we are…” I philosophized, hoping to take my own advice when I found Hizzoner working again.

” Cheri, why that is sage advice,” Sharon observed. “But putting such a Buddhist twist on things so personal…well…I’ll try it,” she conceded. And I, too, hoped to take my own advice.

We approached the pathway that led to the parking lot but instead of turning right,  Sharon lurched left, and like an excited racehorse on the rail, I had no choice but to stay with her, lest I end up with a nose full of mud and in last place.

“Aren’t we going to our cars?” I suggested, inhaling.

“We are not done solving our husbands’ problems, Cheri,” Sharon stated without missing a step and charging on toward the back side of the lake where the reeds and tules wave like Argentinean pampas grasses.

By the end of the second lap, my thighs were burning but then, so was the conversation.

We made it to the cars and while catching my breath, Sharon reached into her blouse and there, attached to her bra, was a small gadget. Was it a microphone?

“See, Missy, we walked 7700 steps!”

I drove straight to the sporting goods store and bought a $59.95 gizmo called the Fitbit Zip.

Today, I have walked 8500 steps and only have 1500 to reach my daily goal of 10,000 steps per day.

Sharon, we need to solve more of our husbands’ problems next Monday, OK?

About Cheri

Writer, artist, cable television host, grandmother to four!
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9 Responses to My Fitbit Fixation

  1. shoreacres says:

    Oh, my. I hadn’t heard of the Fitbit in any of its incarnations. I immediately educated myself, admired you, and thought, “No way” for myself. All I’d learn is how much of a slug I am.

    Well, that’s not quite true. And it would be “interesting” to know how many steps I walk in the course of my day, since I work on the docks and always am trotting here and there in the course of the day.

    Other than that — isn’t it fun, solving other peoples’ problems? 🙂

    • Cheri says:

      I bet you take at least 10k steps a day on the docks…And yes, I’ve always done a stellar job solving other people’s problems…now I just need to work on solving my own!

  2. Cyberquill says:

    Some pedometers come with a built in logometer, which counts the number of words spoken per step. The average female should be able to do an average of ten per step, with the potential to work herself up to fifteen. Anything under eight suggests some underlying pathology.

    • Cheri says:

      You made me laugh. You are right: we females can talk up a storm while walking. Do you talk while out climbing the hills and singing Edelweiss?

      • Cyberquill says:

        Well, I do a lot of switching back and forth, as I have not yet mastered the art of talking singing simultaneously. There is, however, something called polyphonic overtone singing, which enables one to sing two notes at the same time, which, alas, I can’t do, either. Might be more of a woman thing. You should try it:

  3. wkkortas says:

    My wife occasionally talks about “fixing” me, but it is in a somewhat different context which I would rather not talk about.

  4. Christopher says:

    Your conversation with Sharon graphically shows how different women are from men.

    Two men having a walk around a lake absolutely wouldn’t discuss their relationships with their wives.

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