by cheri block
So I went in to see my doctor on Friday to learn if my Spartan food choices during the last several months have improved my high cholesterol.
By chance, I ran into Judge Blah in the doctor’s office. He too, had come to learn if his Bacchanalian food choices had damaged his low cholesterol.
I take cholesterol medicine to combat my genetics.
He does not.
I am fit and of perfect weight, around 115 pounds.
He is fit but thick, not unlike a good healthy pasta sauce, one made with turkey instead of beef.
I avoid food that I love and crave: ice cream and chocolate.
He eats ice cream before he goes to bed—at least 4 times a week, sometimes with chocolate sauce slathered all over it.
I take a multi-vitamin with folic acid, walk up a hill every morning (rain or shine) and order salads when I’d rather have a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread.
He refuses to take vitamins and has that grilled cheese sandwich on white bread with a side order of fries.
I opt for fruit.
He opts for chips.
I settled myself on the examining table, still reading blog posts on my iPhone and waiting for the good news.
In walked my cute doctor, Muni.
Geez Cheri, I can’t believe your cholesterol went up 15 points in 6 months. What are you eating?
A new lousy prescription in hand, I left the office in a funk.
Judge Blah arrived home before dinner with a spring in his step. Well, I am happy to report that my cholesterol went down below 180, he beamed.
I looked at the dog, asleep in her donut bed.
What’s for dinner, Cheri? He inquired as he made himself a vodka tonic.
Celery, I said.